"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
Exodus 20:16

The commandment forbids bearing false witness against one’s neighbor. Here are some ways in which we sometimes do that without thinking of it as breaking the commandment.

We can break the ninth commandment through slander, tale-bearing, creating false impressions, by silence, or even by flattery.

Slander may seem obviously out of bounds, but what if the person speaking believes what is being said is actually true? First, let us avoid speaking ill of people whether what we are saying is true or not! Second, how often do we assume something is true because someone else said so? Third, before repeating what others have negatively said of another person, we should not repeat what was said unless we know it to be true—not merely because someone else said so. And if the investigation into the truthfulness of a matter is too arduous, it is better to refrain from repeating the matter as a tale-bearer.

A great rule of thumb is don’t say anything negative about a person that you wouldn’t say to the person. Let us ask ourselves why we want to speak about a person but not to that person.

How can silence be a sin? Listening to slander, even silently, is often a sin when the right thing to do would be to silence the malicious talk, and/or by defending the one being maligned. A simple way to positively break silence—to diffuse what is likely sinful, negative talk about another—is to ask the one who is speaking, “How do you know this is true?” Or, “Have you spoken with the person about this?” And be careful not to break silence in a self-righteous manner.

Flattery is different from paying someone a compliment. A well deserved compliment is a wonderful way to encourage one another, but it can also cross the line, becoming injurious flattery. Flattery is a compliment that goes overboard. Flattery seeks arouse another’s pride. Flattery is often intended to get on a person’s good side in hopes of what that person will do for you. Flattery is mentioned negatively eight times in Proverbs. Let us not only refrain from flattery, but refuse to listen to, and deceived by it!

Next up: Lying that doesn’t seem like lying.