And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. Matthew 6:12
We have been thinking about forgiveness. We first sought to sort out any confusion regarding whether our forgiveness by God is dependent on our forgiveness of others (it is not!). Then we wrote about the fact that God’s forgiveness is the greatest need of every human being. This time let’s consider the power of forgiveness.
Decades of counseling has cemented in my mind the fact that the vast majority of problems between people comes down to forgiveness. Small problems become big problems when we fail (often downright refusing) to forgive other people. A lack of forgiveness, which is fueled by prideful stubbornness, quickly turns into grudges, and grudges evolve into bitterness. Bitterness harms the one holding the grudge far more than the one against whom the grudge is being held. A witty and equally true saying about bitterness says, “Bitterness is like drinking poison, hoping the other person will die!” The one and only remedy is forgiving the other person.
Sometimes the original offense was something small that has been allowed to fester into something bigger than it truly was in the first place. At other times the original offense is big, maybe even huge! Marital infidelity is a prime example. It is one of the most personal and crushing offenses.
You may remember earlier in this series of blog posts based on the Sermon on the Mount, we addressed Jesus’ words about adultery, not only in Matthew 5, but also in Matthew 19. Jesus made it clear that while divorce is allowed in cases of adultery, it was allowed only because of the hardness of hearts in refusing to forgive. Granted, when a person is a serial adulterer, divorce is understandable, but when the offended party remembers that God has forgiven him or her of far greater sins of repeated unfaithfulness to God, he or she needs to forgive as he or she has been forgiven!
Forgiveness, motivated by the knowledge that one has been forgiven by God of insurmountable sin debt, is healing. Powerfully healing! Forgiveness is arguably the greatest power to heal even the greatest hurts.
Let us meditate on our holy God’s forgiveness of sinners, as we work through our obligation to forgive fellow sinners. For more, straight from Jesus’ lips, read Matthew 18:21-35.