And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. Matthew 6:12

Ideally, forgiveness and reconciliation ought to be two sides of the same coin. God forgives us and He reconciles those He forgives to Himself. Sadly, that is not always the case in interpersonal relationships. There are times when, though we have forgiven someone, the relationship is not reconciled. Why?

Because forgiveness is often unilateral, meaning one party forgives and the other does not want the relationship restored. This lack of a desire for reconciliation usually indicates one or both of two things: (a) One or both parties have not truly forgiven the other. Or (b) the offending party refuses to repent (stop causing the offense).

This is a reminder that we must forgive, even if the relationship is not reconciled. Let us do what we can to reconcile, understanding that we cannot force the other person to reciprocate. Remember Paul’s words:

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Let us be sure we really are doing what we can, and not deceiving ourselves that we are when in reality we are harboring resentment and a lack of forgiveness.

Forgiving silently is next…