"Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.”
Matthew 5:31-32
This will be the last offering on what Jesus said about marriage and divorce in the Sermon on the Mount and in Matthew 19:6-9.
6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." 7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" 8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
Today’s question: Is it possible for a person who professes faith in Christ to divorce without biblical grounds, and subsequently remarry and it not be adultery?
First, the sad reality is that in some cases divorce and remarriage is a serious sin. Being consigned to a life of singleness (and therefore celibacy) is no small matter. This is a screaming reminder of the fact that no one should ever marry without serious consideration—that in the vast majority of cases, biblically, divorce and remarriage is not an option. If more people entered into marriage with this in mind, I dare say some ill-advised marriages would be avoided!
That said, and I may be severely criticized by some for saying what I am about to say, I am convinced that there are instances in which remarriage after a sinful divorce can be permitted.
Even if someone married and divorced without biblical grounds, they may have been young and somewhat foolish. They may never have been taught or counseled about what the Bible says about these things. And there are times when, after a prolonged period of time, a person has learned, and grown spiritually, and has come to grips with the fact that the former divorce was sinful—and has, with genuine godly sorrow, repented. With proper biblical counseling, I believe persons in such circumstances may be eligible for remarriage, even if the former divorce was sinful. This is not to be taken lightly, done hastily, or with a “loophole” mentality, but is our God a God of grace who forgives sins? The Word of God insists that He is. If you have been divorced as a believer without biblical grounds, please seek biblical counsel before considering yourself eligible to remarry.
One last thought: I believe the biggest reason why God hates divorce is that it defiles the parabolic picture: marriage is to be about the love between Christ and His Bride, the Church. Though Christ has biblical grounds to divorce His unfaithful Bride, He continues to forgive and refuses to “send her away!”
I also believe that the second biggest reason why God hates divorce is because of what it does to the children. One of Satan’s most insidious lies is that sometimes divorce is better for the children. Listen, though children survive divorce, they are always scarred by it. Is there any wonder that, statistically, children of divorce are more likely to divorce as adults? (There are a host of other alarming statistics about the detrimental effects of divorce on children.)
Our happiness in marriage is of great importance. Accurately representing Christ’s love for His Bride is more important. And so is the welfare of our children.