"Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.”
Matthew 5:31-32
We are in the midst of exploring what Jesus said about marriage and divorce in Matthew 19:3-9. This time we’ll focus on what Jesus said about “grounds” for divorce in verses 6-9.
6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." 7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" 8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
Are there biblical “grounds” for divorce? Though some may say, No, I believe the biblical answer is Yes. Rather than go back over what was written in Part 2 of this series on marriage and divorce, let’s move forward past the obvious biblical grounds for divorce, which is sexual infidelity. (Go back and read Part 2 if you can.)
Traditionally, Christians have said abandonment is also a biblical grounds for divorce. Is that true? Possibly in some cases, but it is never stated explicitly in the Bible. What is stated in 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 is as follows:
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
From this, we can deduce that if (and only if ) an unbelieving spose leaves or divorces a believing spouse, the believing spouse is free (presumably to divorce). There are several “howevers” that beg to be mentioned.
(1) This does not mean the spouse who has been left must divorce. He or she may certainly remain married, praying that the unbelieving spouse may repent, and hopefully get saved, and return. There is no set amount of time after which the believing spouse is free to divorce, but since he or she could have divorced already, he or she may opt to do so later as well.
(2) This does not mean a married believer can drive a nonbelieving spouse away so he or she can blame the breakup on the nonbeliever.
(3) There is another scenario which is rather complex. Husband and wife both profess faith in Christ. One is in serious sin from which he or she refuses to repent. In such cases the elders of the church should proceed with the appropriate steps of church discipline, officially calling the one in sin to repent. Eventually (and this must not be rushed!), if the one in sin refuses to repent, he or she may end up being excommunicated. Jesus and Paul both said the one who is excommunicated is to be treated as an unbeliever (Matthew 18:17, 1 Corinthians 5:11). Some argue in such cases the believing spose may divorce the the one who has been excommunicated, since he or she is now considered to be an unbeliever. This is not explicitly taught in scripture. I believe that it is implicitly taught and that this scenario can be defended. However this is not a loophole to be exploited, nor is it to done in haste.
Next time: What about Jesus’ words (Matthew 5:32, & 19:9) regarding those who divorce unbiblically being in adultery?