Now it was about three hours later when his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. And Peter answered her, "Tell me whether you sold the land for so much?" She said, "Yes, for so much." Then Peter said to her, "How is it that you have agreed together to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out." Then immediately she fell down at his feet and breathed her last. And the young men came in and found her dead, and carrying her out, buried her by her husband. Acts 5:7-10
This passage isn’t specifically about what I am about to write. It is about what we said a couple of posts earlier (Aug.18) when writing about Ananias. But I do believe Ananias and Sapphira provide an important example about the relationship between husbands and wives when it comes to sin.
We must assume from Peter’s words in (v.9) that Sapphira not only knew her husband had lied, but that she was in agreement with it. We can also assume that if she had not known about the lie and had not agreed to the lie, she would have been spared.
What is the lesson? Husbands and wives need to speak with one voice on a lot of things, indeed about most things, and ideally about all things. This is especially true when dealing with children. However, there are some things about which husbands and wives must not speak with one voice. Husbands and wives must never agree with, or be a party to their spouses’ sins—including lies.
We do our spouses no favors for agreeing with anything they do that is sinful. When a spouse is acting sinfully, we may not be able to stop them (though we must try), but we must never join them.
A spouse cannot be forced to testify against a spouse in a court of law (The Marital Spousal Privilege; Calif Evidence Code 970 & 971). And I would say that we need not necessarily feel compelled to reveal our spouses’ sins. God will bring everything into the light eventually. But we must never agree to or support our spouses’ sins.
As a footnote: Any teaching that says a wife must support her husband in sin, as part of following her husband as a spiritual leader, is false. We are to follow God-ordained leaders, but never when it means disobeying God.