How should Christians relate to apostates?

And in those days Peter stood up in the midst of the disciples (altogether the number of names was about a hundred and twenty), and said, "Men and brethren, this Scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit spoke before by the mouth of David concerning Judas, who became a guide to those who arrested Jesus; for he was numbered with us and obtained a part in this ministry." (Now this man purchased a field with the wages of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst open in the middle and all his entrails gushed out. And it became known to all those dwelling in Jerusalem; so that field is called in their own language, Akel Dama, that is, Field of Blood.) "For it is written in the Book of Psalms: 'LET HIS DWELLING PLACE BE DESOLATE, AND LET NO ONE LIVE IN IT'; and, 'LET ANOTHER TAKE HIS OFFICE.'
Acts 1:15-20

I’ll attempt to address the matter of choosing a replacement Apostle for Judas in a blog post a couple of days from now. But before that, let me address two important theological matters that Judas exemplifies. The first is apostasy. There are two kinds of non-believers. There are non-believers who have never claimed to have believe. There are also non-believers who at one time (sometimes for a long time) claimed to believe, but who later departed from the faith. Those in the second category are called apostates.

1 John 2:19 makes it undeniably crystal clear that apostates were never believers, but were rather merely make-believers:

1 John 2:19  They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us; but they went out that they might be made manifest, that none of them were of us.

Why do non-believers profess faith if they were not really believers? There may be a number of reasons. They may have been brought up in Christian homes and churches so they were “default” believers. They may have liked the community aspect of Christianity. They may have enjoyed the trappings of religion while never understanding the gospel. And there may be other reasons. In any case, however, no one “used to be a Christian.” “Used to be Christians” never were, because those who become Christian, are Christians forever (John 10:27-29, Romans 8:38-39).

How should Christians relate to those who are apostate? Jesus said when someone sins against us (and apostasy is a sin against the body of Christ) we are to go to him or her and try to restore the person (Matthew 18:15-17). If those efforts are rejected we are to deal with the person as we would “a heathen or a tax-collector” (v.17). This precludes turning on apostates or being unloving toward them. It means desiring and praying for their conversion. Our social interaction must cease (1 Corinthians 5:11, 2 John 1:10-11 ) and we must be ever so careful to never affirm them in their apostasy!

May God mercifully hang on to us, and may we pray for repentance in the lives of apostates.