Chapter 25: OF MARRIAGE
(Parts Three and Four)
What is the purpose of marriage? According to scripture, summarized in the Confession:
“Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife (Genesis 2:18), for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue (Genesis 1:28, Malachi 2:15), and for preventing uncleanness (1 Corinthians 7:2, 9).”
Properly understood and pursued, biblical marriage promotes happiness, but happiness itself is not the goal of marriage. We are not free to abandon marriage because we insist that we are not happy.
While we would not condemn married people who opt not to have children, we would encourage married people and those entering into marriage that having children is one of God’s stated purposes for marriage (Malachi 2:15). We would encourage people to be sure that their decision not to have children is not motivated by selfishness. Of course, if God disallows a married couple to bear children, God has His purposes. But even in these cases, adoption is a choice to be considered seriously. We would also remind people that God ordains parents to care for children when the children are young, and that He likewise ordains children to care for their parents when their parents are old. Deciding against children is usually a decision that often results in loneliness in one’s old age.
(Part Four)
Another biblical purpose for marriage summarized in the Confession is “and for preventing uncleanness” (1 Corinthians 7:2,9). God created humans as sexual beings with sexual appetites. God also ordained marriage as a monogamous relationship between 1 man and 1 woman for life. God has ordained marriage as the only relationship in which our sexual appetites are to be satisfied. Therefore, since unmarried people often struggle with their sexual appetites, Paul counsels single people, “it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9). Outside of biblical marriage, unmarried people have an extra responsibility to maintain sexual purity.
We must not think (as some have taught) that marriage is a bad thing reserved for people who cannot control themselves. What it means is that while a small percentage of people may have the gift of singleness, most people should marry, since marriage is the only God-ordained means of experiencing and enjoying one’s sexuality.
This does not mean that married people are exempted from sexual temptation or sin. Married people must still deal with sexual temptation by limiting their sexuality to the confines of biblical marriage, understanding that living according to God’s plan is the only path to true fulfillment and joy.